Caskett's Downfall
by mantaleigh
Summary: What if the third time is not the charm? What if marriage is harder than Kate and Rick thought? Kate begins to think about leaving Castle, and her life with him. Is she just running away again? Will they be able to make it work in the end? Changed rating from M to T (no more possibility for smut).
1. Chapter 1

_ This is my first Castle fanfiction, and actually my first fanfiction in a long while. The chapter is relatively short, though hopefully not painfully so, because honestly, this is a new thing for me. I've been reading a lot of Castle fics here lately and I suddenly felt that there's no reason why I can't be writing, too. Since this is so new to me, I'm looking for constructive reviews and reasons to continue with this storyline. (I usually like fluffy fics, and this is angst-filled) No promises on the extended continuance of this fic, but I'm sure there will be others- it all depends on the reviews I might get. But I believe that this take on the future Caskett relationship is interesting. (Don't get discouraged at the end though- I don't THINK I have the heart to actually break them up.) Rated M for safekeeping (curses and some smut might be coming in the future) – but this chapter is clean. - Samantha_

_Takes place in the seventh year of Castle and Beckett's marriage. A child is involved, but you only get a hint at her existence in this chapter. _

* * *

Kate stared at the light above the door as it changed from number to number. In her left hand, she gripped seven plastic grocery bags. Three more and a bag full of her current case's files were interlaced in the fingers of her right. The elevator stopped on every third floor to either pick up or drop off a weary looking man in a suit wandering back home after working extra hours or a woman in pajamas picking up the mail. Finally, to Kate's relief, the yellow light illuminated the last number on the metal plate and the doors slid slowly open. She lifted her arms up slightly, pulling her bags further up off the floor and stumbled to the front door of the loft.

Kate mumbled curses under her breath as she struggled to reach her grocery sack-entangled fingers into the purse on her shoulder. Mercifully, her fingertips grazed the cold metal almost immediately. However, it still took her four times grasping at the keys to get enough of a hold to pull them free.

With her waist bent sideways so that the bags in her left hand rested on the floor, Kate shook the keychain in her right hand as well as she could. Eventually, her thumb and index finger clasped on the correct key, and she moved it toward the handle. Jiggling it around slightly in the keyhole, the door finally swung free and Kate took two fumbling steps past the threshold.

She was expecting to see a plate of dinner for her on the table and a relatively neat household, exactly what she had asked Castle for in a quick text message a few hours prior. Instead, as she flung her bags onto the kitchen counter, she found a mess. There was no evidence of dinner, but trash and containers with half consumed meals littered the kitchen. Black suit jackets were haphazardly draped over the dining room and living room chairs, unmatched shoes made themselves at home anywhere that was not where they belonged, and it looked like a thin film of white flour had been dusted onto the cabinets and floor.

As Kate rubbed the red lines that the grocery sacks had made in her arms and fingers, she quickly licked away the salty tears that were gathering on her upper lip. Suddenly, every single case, every single frustration, every single responsibility that she had been dealing with for days, weeks, months, years, came pressing down heavy on her heart as she looked around the mess of the loft. Quietly, but deliberately, she made her way to her husband's office. Pushing open the door with the toe of her boot, which she had not had the chance to remove yet, despite them being on her feet for fifteen hours straight now, she saw him. Castle was reclining in his desk chair, feet on the desk, with his laptop laid across his knees, not typing the latest chapter of his latest novel, but furiously mashing the keyboard in his endeavor to become victorious in his latest video game quest. He was wearing a pair of gray cotton boxers and that one old shirt that Kate hated, but he loved. It took him a few seconds to notice her entrance.

"Oh, hey, hun." He glanced at his laptop's clock, grimacing. 11 pm. "Did you just get back? I'm sorry, I really meant to clean up and make some dinner, but then there was an accident with some flour, and that gave me a really good idea for my next chapter, but then writers block set in, and I…" he drifted off when he saw her newly puffy eyes. "What's wrong?"

Kate twisted her wedding ring around with her right hand. "I can't do it anymore, Rick." She took a deep breath. "I'm falling apart, I can't keep this up."

Looking confused, Castle pushed his laptop back onto his desk and brought his feet down to the floor. "What do you mean? Is this case that bad?" She had been working on a particularly difficult case about the murder of a college-aged girl, and had absolutely no leads for three days now.

Shaking her head, Kate looked to the ceiling. "No, Rick. This," she swung her arms around in a way that made her seem like she was calling attention to much more than the dire state of the loft. "I can't handle this anymore. I'm tired of working long hours at the precinct, rushing to the grocery store before it closes, then coming home to cook dinner, clean up any mess, do the laundry, and anything else that never seems to get done around here. You stay home all day, why is this all falling on me?" The tears began flowing more freely down her cheeks as she threw her arms up then down in exasperation.

"Is this about the flour, because I can clean that up right now…"

"It's not just about the flour, Castle."

"Oh," he was surprised that she used his—their—last name to address him. "Hey, Kate, you sound like you need a break." Castle stood up and began walking toward his wife, opening his arms for an embrace. "How about we…"

Kate pushed his arms away from her. "How about nothing, Rick. Right now I do need a break. A break from us." Her eyes flickered up to his just as the realization flashed across his face, then the pain. She hated hurting him, but her body, her mind, her soul, had had enough. Their marriage had begun wonderfully, but now, in their seventh year, they were struggling. She was struggling.

"Are you suggesting," Castle's heart wrenched even as he thought of the next word, "… divorce?"

Kate's gaze flew down to her shoes, unable to hold his any longer. "I don't think so. At least not right now." She looked back up slightly, and her line of sight intersected with her husband's chest. "I want some time to think, get my brain together, you know." With that, she turned around on her heel and walked straight for their bedroom, grabbing a navy duffel bag from a chair on her way.

His breathing becoming shallow, Castle hustled directly behind her. "Where are you going?"

"Lanie's," she breathed as she quickly stuffed sweatpants, tank tops and underwear into the bag.

Rick reached for her fast moving arms, but she pulled them away as soon has his fingers grazed her heated flesh. "Kate… please stay. I can fix whatever you want me to fix. I can do whatever you want me to do. I love you. Please stay here. We can talk about this, work it out... please?"

"I can't, Rick. I have to get away for a bit. I'll let you know when," she amended her statement, "if I'm coming back."

The noise the zipper on the duffel bag made as she finished packing her things had a painful finality to it. She slung the bag halfway over her left shoulder and walked to the front door, tears streaming down her cheeks. With one hand on the door handle, she turned around to see her husband, her partner of more than a decade, coming toward her with glassy eyes.

"Kate… don't do this, please."

"I have to."

"I don't understand."

She shook her head. "That's just it. You never do anymore."

Those last words hurt him, Kate could tell. She felt awful for causing him agony, but she needed him to know how she felt, damn the consequences.

Castle looked wounded as he slowly reached for her tear-soaked cheek. Kate bobbed her head to avoid his touch, and his hand fell dejectedly back down to his side.

"I love you, Kate."

"I know you do. Goodbye, Rick. I'll call you. Take care of Emily."

And with that, she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

_I tried to take a little bit more time with this, and make it slightly longer. After the first chapter, I honestly had no idea where I wanted this to go (shame on me, I know), but now I think I have a pretty good idea. I'm thinking just one more chapter after this, at the most two. Thank you guys for the follows and reviews, I really appreciate it! (Also, I changed the rating on this fic, if you didn't notice- decided against making it M rated... but there will be some M rated fics in the near future. ;) )Enjoy and let me know what you think. -Samantha_

* * *

2.

As the door clicked shut (Kate was not one for slamming doors), Castle turned around and stumbled towards the lounge chair in the living room, kicking shoes out of the way as he went.

Three months.

The last time she left him was after she was shot at Montgomery's funeral. She had been gone for three months.

Throwing himself down onto the cushion, Castle's mind began to race uncontrollably. How long would it be this time? Honestly, he had not seen this coming. He thought the Kate Beckett that was scared of expressing her feelings, scared of commitment and the work it involved, was gone. His Kate, his wife, seemed to be a different woman entirely. Obviously, that was not entirely the case.

A lump began to form in Castle's throat as he leaned over and dropped his head to his hands. Maybe what Kate had said about him not understanding was true. After seven years of marriage, he took it for granted that she would be there standing next to him every day. He had completely forgotten what made him love Kate in the first place: her ability and willingness to solve her own problems, her determination, and her heart. Of course she thought he had stopped understanding. As soon as he started taking her for granted, he had stopped asking. He had stopped asking about what she wanted, what she needed, and what he could help with.

Castle shook his head, pushing himself out of the chair, and walked to the kitchen counter. As he began furiously throwing trash away and flinging dishes into the sink, he continued his train of thought.

He figured that she would have come to him on her own with anything she needed. After all, they had been together for close to a decade now. Apparently he was mistaken. She was still the Kate he had fallen in love with at the twelfth precinct so long ago, the one that was still broken by her mother's death. It was stupid of him to think that that part of her would ever be completely lost, the part that made her need help opening up. Castle knew she wouldn't like him thinking of her like someone who needed help opening up. She usually didn't like him thinking of her as someone who needed any help at all—that's exactly what had him so confused.

"God damn it," he swore as his the palm of his hand grazed a steak knife in his angry haste. Bringing the injured hand up to his face, he inspected the wound. It was slightly jagged, and beginning to bleed, but not big or deep enough for stitches. Deciding that it probably wasn't a good idea to be around sharp objects in his distress, Castle angrily made his way to the master bathroom. He grabbed some gauze and tape from the medicine cabinet and began to bandage his left hand as gingerly as he could manage.

Of course, sometimes she _had_ asked, had spoken up. He knew that he certainly could have been more diligent in acknowledging her few requests, like cleaning the loft and making dinner. That was clear in hindsight.

Castle finished his bandaging and put the gauze back in the cabinet. Marriage was hard, and his previous experiences with it were not extremely beneficial. Exasperated and distressed, he hurried through the doorway to his and Kate's bedroom and jerked his phone off his dresser. After swiping in his passcode—their anniversary—Castle hit number three on his speed dial. The phone rang only twice before a slightly distracted voice appeared on the other end of the line.

"Richard! What do you need, kiddo?" Martha's voice drifted off into a laugh in response to a comment made by her current companion, no doubt a rich, unmarried older man, just her type.

"Hello mother. I… well…" Despite making a living with words, he found it difficult to find the right ones to say in that moment.

"Well? Let's get right to it."

"She left." Castle's voice became strained with the promise of tears.

"Katherine? What do you mean, she left?" He could tell that she had moved into another room, away from the guests and music at the party.

"She left. She came home tonight crying, she couldn't handle it anymore, packed a bag, and left."

The line went silent for a few seconds. "Oh, darling. It's the seven year itch."

* * *

"Lanie… It just got so hard all of a sudden. I don't know what to do." Kate had spent the last hour letting out all her frustrations with her job, her life, and her marriage as her best friend sat quietly by her on the couch and listened.

She continued, "And well, I thought I did the right thing by coming here and getting some space… but now I'm feeling guilty for leaving Emily. It's not that I don't trust Castle to take care of her, because I do. I just can't shake the guilty feeling." Wiping her damp cheeks with a worn tissue, Kate looked up at Lanie, finally giving her a chance to respond.

"Girl, you know I love you, but why are you here?"

"Lanie, are you kidding me? That's what I've been telling you for the past hour. Did you not listen to any of it?" Kate looked even more exasperated than she had when she was talking about Castle.

"Kate, sweetie, I know why you think you came here, but seriously, why are you sitting here on my couch talking to me instead of your husband?"

Her eyebrows moving into a deep v of confusion, Kate questioned, "What do you mean?"

"You never once tried to talk to Castle about all of this, did you?

"Well, I mean… maybe?"

Lanie pursed her lips and glared at her friend, as if to say "tell me the truth."

"Okay…no," Kate reluctantly admitted.

"Exactly, girlfriend. Things got hard and you ran away without much explanation. Does that sound like an old Kate Beckett we used to know?"

The use of her maiden name startled Kate. Was Lanie really insinuating that she was acting like she did after she was shot? Running away out of fear of commitment, of work? She had been married to Castle for seven years now and they had been together for at least nine. It was unfair for Lanie to say that she didn't want to put in _work_. She had worked. She kept her job as a detective for the NYPD, she worked to make her own little family, worked to make dinners, take her daughter to school, and keep her household functioning. Of course she worked. That Lanie would insinuate anything else made Kate angry.

Lanie's voice interrupted her train of thought. "Girl, hear me out. I know what you're doing right now. You're trying to find reasons why what I just said is wrong. But listen to me." She adjusted slightly on the couch cushion so that she was a little closer to her friend. "You were born with one foot out the door… in everything. It's practically in your nature to bolt at these situations."  
Kate still looked irritated, but Lanie perservered.

"Have you ever heard of the seven year itch?"

As her irritated expression cracked into curiousity, Kate tentatively shook her head.

"It's a theory that, in the seventh year of marriage, couples are no longer as happy in their relationship. So they lose interest in each other and potentially separate." Lanie stopped after her explanation, gauging her friend's reaction. The living room was silent for a moment, with only the quiet whir of the dishwasher on in the background, as Kate thought.  
"You think that's what's going on here?"

"I'd put money on it. Now, Kate, I'm not saying that you don't need a break, because yes, you probably do. I just don't think this situation is all Castle's fault, and it's not all your fault either." Lanie pulled another tissue out of the box on the coffee table in front of them and handed it to Kate. She discarded her old tissue, and blew her nose loudly with the new one. Throwing her head back onto the top of the couch, Kate closed her eyes and sighed.

"So what do I do, Lanie?"

"Stay here as long as you like, I don't mind, and Javi won't either. But I think you need to go and talk to your husband about this whole situation, not me. God knows he'll be there waiting for you, no matter how long you take. That man is a saint."

Kate pressed the heels of her palms to her closed, swollen eyes as if she could physically force herself to stop crying.

Lanie continued, "Spend some time thinking about how you can talk to Castle about saving your marriage and how you are gonna fix that man's heart after this episode. Also—don't forget about my Goddaughter. Emily needs both you and Castle, so please don't take too long to figure this out, for her sake. Now come on, girl. Give me a hug."

Both of the girls stood up and wrapped each other into a friendly embrace. Talking to Lanie really did make Kate feel better, but she realized now that she had an exceptional amount of thinking to do.

After their hug, Lanie returned to her and Esposito's bedroom (they had been married a little over two years), leaving Kate to sleep alone for the first time in ages.

Kate dreamt of Emily. She dreamt that she was standing in the doorway to her daughter's room, watching her dance around to the music that must have been in her head. She was beautiful, as she always was, with her wispy auburn hair and glistening blue eyes framed by dark lashes. Standing there watching her daughter, Kate realized how much she reminded her of her mother, Johanna. She had the same idiosyncrasies, the same behavior. As Emily danced around carelessly, Kate was teleported to a time when she was twelve and she walked in on her mother and father dancing slowly in the living room to no music. She stood by the door and watched them, not wanting to tear her eyes away from something so beautiful. Then, suddenly, she was back watching Emily, but the dream had darkened. Kate had a strange feeling of loss, but it wasn't for her mother. As she reached out towards Emily, thinking the feeling was a premonition and her daughter needed to be protected, Kate caught a glimpse of her bare left ring finger.

* * *

After the conversation with his mother, Castle had gotten a still-sleeping Emily out of her bed and carried her into his. They had been struggling to get her to sleep in her own "big girl" bed every night without fuss for months now, but Castle didn't care. He was scared of forgetting what it felt like to have his daughter securely wrapped in his arms. Alexis had grown up and gotten married, and until Emily was born he had trouble remembering the feeling he got when he had a person who relied on him. Kate never relied on him anymore, and he hated it. But Emily still did, and that secure feeling was exactly what Castle needed right now with his wife gone. His five year old daughter wrapped in his arms, Rick Castle drifted off to sleep, unsure and scared of what the morning would bring.

Kate was gone for five days.

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**_Please remember to review! (I'll love you forever-promise.) - Samantha_**


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